Section 6 - Champion Laws

I.    Dress the Hoe (Permanently Active) - 2010, Cody Failinger
Once the last place team has been awarded “The Golden Hoe” they have one year to decide on an addition to the trophy. This includes any personal touch the current “Hoe” desires with the exceptions of breaking the trophy, destroying previous additions, and maintaining the ability for the Hoe to be transported by a single individual.
 

II.    Beer Hoe (Permanently Active) - 2011, Cody Failinger
The “Hoe” is designated as the “Beer Hoe” at the draft party. At any time in which another member of the fantasy league needs a beverage of any kind, the “Hoe” must retrieve the drink of the member’s choice without question. This includes prompt response to the “Beer Me” bell that can be used by any member of the league.
 

III.    Breakfast of Champions (Permanently Active) - 2012, George Lane 
The breakfast shall be held every year in which the reigning champion shall hand over the Doomsday trophy to the commissioner so that the trophy can be engraved with the new champion’s name. All prior Doomsday champions are to attend the breakfast where the outgoing champion’s bill will be split among the other champions. The breakfast will be scheduled within the first three weeks of January following the conclusion of the Doomsday season so that the trophy can be engraved before the trophy ceremony. The location of the breakfast shall be chosen by the outgoing champion.
 

IV.    Facebook Hoefile (Champion Option) - 2013, Eric Failinger
The “Hoe” must post their Hoe Holiday photo as their Facebook profile picture the week leading up to the draft. The picture must be posted exactly one week prior to the draft at the exact time the draft is set to start and may be taken down as soon as the last pick has been made. If the “Hoe” does not have a Facebook account, then it shall be at the Doomsday Council’s discretion on how or where the picture will be used for the member. It is the responsibility of the Hoe to remember to change the profile picture and in the case that they are late, the photo must be up for exactly one week. 
 

V.    Hoe Holiday (Permanently Active) - 2014, George Lane
The Hoe shall get his or her picture taken with Santa Clause (or the Easter Bunny) in a public shopping mall. This means the human dressed up as Santa Claus (or the Easter Bunny) is set up at a local shopping mall to take pictures with children. A fake statue, stuffed animal, or photo of a Santa Claus (or Easter Bunny) does not count. The requirements of the picture are as follows; the Golden Hoe must be worn/held in the picture, the Hoe must sit on the lap of Santa Clause (or Easter Bunny), the Hoe must be wearing holiday attire, and every member of the league must be invited by the Hoe to attend the picture taking. The resulting picture shall be property of the Doomsday League and to be controlled by the commissioner. A digital copy of the picture must be turned over to the commissioner immediately. A historical album shall be established to document all Hoe Holiday pictures.
 

VI.    Seat Check (Champion Option) – 2015, Kyle Geddes
The reigning champion shall have the power to claim any space they desire as their own at any given time during a Doomsday event or gathering. A Doomsday event is considered any official function of the league (Draft Lotto, Draft, Watching Parties, Trophy Ceremony, etc.) and any gathering where a majority of the league members are present. At any point during the event or gathering, if the reigning champion desires to sit in a location in which another person occupies, the Champ may simply claim seat check. The Doomsday member or guest of the event/gathering must immediately vacate the seat/location and yield it to the reigning champion. 
 

VII.    Repo Man (Champion Option) – 2016, Tim Arion
The reigning champion shall have the power to claim any parking space they desire from another Doomsday member as their own upon arrival to a Doomsday event or gathering. A Doomsday event is considered any official function of the league (Draft Lotto, Draft, Watching Parties, Trophy Ceremony, etc.) and any gathering where a majority of the league members are present (House parties, sporting events, bar, etc.). When the reigning champion arrives to the event/gathering they simply text or call the member occupying the desired parking space and inform them that they have been “repoed”. The “repoed” Doomsday member must immediately vacate their parking space yielding it to the reigning champion.
 

VIII.    Doomsday Cares (Champion Option) – 2017, Cody Failinger
Giving back is important for an organization such as Doomsday that has experienced so much fortune! The current champion shall choose a charitable event and day for Doomsday members to volunteer as a group in the offseason (default is Feed My Starving Children (FMSC) in Richardson, TX). 
 

IX.    You Got Schooled (Champion Option) – 2018, Rafael Chac
The Doomsday member that finishes 6th at the conclusion of the year will be required to go “back to school” to help improve their fantasy football IQ. The Doomsday member must register with a local testing center to take the SAT (only the standard SAT without essay) and then announce their score to the league. The fee will be covered by the league petty cash fund. 
 

X.    The Champion Greeting (Champion Option) – 2019, Oscar Flores 
The reigning champion shall be addressed by all Doomsday members with their best “Chewbacca” voice upon initial greeting and departure at any Doomsday event or gathering. A Doomsday event is considered any official function of the league (Draft Lotto, Draft, Watching Parties, Trophy Ceremony, etc.) and any gathering where a majority of the league members are present. If the act is not performed, the champion must call them out to perform the voice within a five-minute period. If the member still does not perform the voice, they must chug whatever they are drinking. 
 

XI.    No Decree – 2020, Rafael Chac
 

XII.    No Decree – 2021, Kyle Geddes
 

XIII.    No Decree – 2022, Tim Arion
 

XIV.    Hall of Fame Dinner (Permanently Active) – 2023, Roy Holdeman
The dinner shall be held every year prior to the start of the Doomsday season, July or August, and all prior Doomsday champions are invited. The “Hall of Fame Champ” shall select the dinner location and day. The dinner may include drinks or cigars after if so desired.